Oh wow, I can't believe I'm writing this - gotta run soon after Morning Due cafe close in 24 minutes. It's my most ever assignment day in Minerva, and I'm writing this. OK - calm down. You actually need to calm down.
I can't believe I'm writing this, but here we are.
Conversation with Lucy
Lucy is the most sophisticated soul I've met in SF. She is the closest senior to me, as I talked to Reed about academic failure last week, I thought about looking for her help. I try to be calm with the crisis.
Walking to her apartment with fullying thought flow and one hundred "what if?", she starts to understand. After a while of conservation, she said, Yueh Han, you should do everything you can do to get over this. You don't need to be shy about asking any help from people, because you need it. "It's okay to freak out, she said".
She breaks my insistence softly. Not need to be strong, being vulnerable with people who love to help you, is difficult but necessary.
She was sad, angry at school policy, honest to me about the mistake I made, soft to give me suggestions. I listen to all her advice, feeling I'm not just overcoming this academic thing - but took care of my inner vulnerability. Open to people is actually hard, pretend to be calm is my reaction to this - but it's okay to freak out. And I'm still freaking out.
Love and Hate Assignments
NS and CS LBA - damn it, I could've loved and enjoyed finishing them, but I have no choice to move fast. It sucks. I know. But I'll have more chance to pick it up.
Te & Ju, Sv & Ga, 2 more couples --- WHAT THE FUCK. The world is so unfair to me. But I don't really have time to coop with it - time to run.