2 years ago 💘 for day 9, 2019 with 336 words.

When Being Good Is Bad

Carlos Gracie Sr., one of the primary developers of modern Brazilian jiu-jitsu said a quote that's always stuck with me: “There is no losing in jiu-jitsu. You either win or you learn.”

Sure, maybe I'm not the best person to be quoting a member of the legendary Gracie family, considering that I've spent a total of zero minutes of my life practicing jiu-jitsu. But hey, I'll shamelessly steal ideas from whoever I want!

And this is one idea that's always stuck with me: Don't try to be good. Try to get better.

What separates top performers and athletes across all kinds of fields is that the most successful have one psychological factor in common: a growth mindset.

A growth mindset is built on the goal to “get better.” The opposite of a growth mindset is a fixed mindset, which centers on the thought “be good.” When facing a difficult task, beginners often want to “do good,” coming at it with the mindset of worrying about how well they’ll perform.

Psychologist Carol Dweck developed the concept of a growth mindset, and it's incredibly inspiring. It reminds you that every time you experience discomfort, you make it a little bit easier for the next time you’re in that situation. Discomfort means you're getting better.

When I meet with clients, my mind wants to start with a fixed mindset. I can't help but think about what I could have done better, or how I should have said something differently. It's just part of the game. The best thing I can do for myself is to say 'Hey, it's not about showing off or performing. What can I learn from this experience?' I don't need to prove anything to anyone. I just need to get a little bit better than I was yesterday.

Your prompt for today:

Write about one step you could take to start viewing something you you do from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset.


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By Tyler


I'm a therapist/health coach in San Diego. I'm here to write about stress management and help you avoid burnout by using mindfulness.

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