The fighting had been brutal. Our brave heroes had faced all of the unspeakable horrors that the Black Dragonflight had thrown at them.
"You know you can see where you stitched him back together, right?"
"I'd like to see you lot resurrect someone whose top half is inside a Dragon!"
"Guys, guys, relax. We've still got five minutes left on the debuff."
"Why's Molketh making those noises?"
"Science experiment. Something about increasing his Mana Reserves."
The cruelties of the Dragons knew no bounds, but our heroes never gave up.
"I can't work out if he's enjoying himself or begging for help."
Our unlikely band of Druids, Hunters, Rogues, Priests, Mages, Warlocks, Warriors and Shamans determinedly waited out the blighted curse of the Bronze Dragon.
"Seriously? Did no one loot anymore Sand? This is boring."
And after sharing out what little loot they could scrape together from the corpses of their slain enemies-
"Another Venomous Totem? What the fuck is this shit?"
Stoically, they grouped together to face the final boss. Deathwing's eldest son and heir, Nefarian, Lord of Blackrock and slayer of all who would oppose him!
"Ringii, can I get an innervate, this Magewater that Gold gave me tastes off."
"I'm not a Druid."
"You're not? Since when?"
"I'm literally holding a totem in my hand."
"Ohhh, that's a totem."
"What did you think it was?"
"I don't know; Druids like sticks."
They'd battled for what felt like days, all to get to this moment. The time was now. Nothing could hold them back from their date with destiny.
"One minute left on the debuff, don't start yet!"
Nothing would keep them from their fate!
"Has everyone got their cloaks?"
Nefarian awaits, and our heroes must now turn to each other for survival.
"Right, that's Drakonid number Forty-two! Get ready! Get ready! Tremor Totems, people!"
"SHIT!" Narcissa cried, clutching Anathema to her chest. "I forgot my cloa-"
"Ringii, battle res Narcissa," Goldshower said with a sigh. "Volrathz, soul stone her when she's-"
"I'M NOT A DRUID!"
"OK, OK, chill," Goldshower said, running to Catacus's side and standing at the designated healer spot so that he could help to heal Dex. "Ramaza can you battle-"
"He's already done it," Goofy drawled.
"Good, then can we get a rebuff and-"
"Shit, are those Infernals?"
"OK, guys, I know that the Infernals from the sky were a bit of a shock, but," Sharpshooter said as he watched Melasmash trying to comfort Catacus, who was rocking in the corner. Or, at least, he hoped that was what he was trying to do. "We just have to learn from our mistakes."
Dex was trying to help Alivea extract Darkviolators head from his helmet, the Mages were summoning yet more Water, and the Rogues were attempting to comfort Dub, who was insisting that he'd seen The Ancient Petrified Leaf tucked under the Dragon's wing. This was going to be harder than he'd first imagined, but he wasn't going to let the Judges beat him. They still had three Reincarnations left.
"We can do this, guys! It's only a Dragon!" he proclaimed. "We've killed lots of those before. We Gangbang this bitches sister every week!"
"No, why Cata cry?" Mela asked, tearing off a piece of his shirt to give it to her. "Infernal only land on head. Head hard. Cata no cry. Cata have pretty tusks. No make tusks wet with Cata tears. Mela kiss ouchie better."
Meq patted Sharpshooter on the shoulder as his face fell. "It's OK. We can have a five-minute break."
"That's Dragon number Forty-one," Dex called. "I'm moving into position. Cata, Meq, you're following, that's it; you're doing well. Well done, Cata, you got the right totem. Yes, that is a Windfury, good girl. Now, tremor? Fantastic. We'll have that brain damage healed up in no time. Now, follow Meq to the safe spot - yes, yes, it is safe. No, there won't be anymore infernals. Not on your head, at least."
He mentally made a note to get her checked out by the Healers in Orgrimmar and moved on. Nefarian would be landing soon, and he couldn't afford the distraction.
Shadow Flame burst across the room. Cries of derision and triumph could be heard throughout the raid. Everyone had worn their cloak. Everyone, it was, but one.
"OK, Dex," Goldshower said, trying to ignore the way his skin crackled whenever he moved. "We've both been cooked today. Let's try this again, shall we? And this time, we don't go until everyone has their cloaks on, including you."
"Yeah, because you and Glemt were so much help while you were having a spit shoved up your-"
"Guys, guys, calm down," said Narcissa. "It's been a long day. Mistakes were made. Let's all just take a breath and play with our Eels."
"I have some potions if you like?" Dub offered.
"Yeah, they're really great-" Glemt began, before he spotted a shiny dot on the floor and pounced.
"Maybe we should leave the potions for now?" Logon suggested. "Consider them a last resort."
"No, no, I'm telling you, they help!" Dub insisted. "I've been an adventurer for nearly fifteen years now. I've never quit. And, look," he held out his hands, laughing manically. "I'm totally fine guys!"
"Yeah," Khailea said, placing a steadying hand on Dub's shoulder and leading him away to sit on a fallen pillar. "It's OK. You just stay there. I'm sure we've got some treats around here that you'll like."
"I've got some spare ribs," Ooty offered.
"There, see, who needs potions when you've got spare ribs?"
"But Cowow..." Dub insisted.
"I know," Khailea said, patting Dub on the head. "I know. It's all OK. I know some nice people in Arathi that can help after we get out of here. It's all going to be fine."
"But, you see, my potion-"
"Shut up, Dub."
"We're doing it, guys!" Dex cheered. "We've got this bitch ass Dragon beaten! Just like his sister!" he taunted. "I've got her skin on my back now, loser!"
"He's at Twenty percent, watch out for the-"
"Stay calm, guys."
"We can do this."
"Just stay focussed and keep the dots up."
"Foryourneeds is dead."
"Take a potion, guys!"
"Shut up, Dub."
"Kill the totems, guys!"
"I've got this!" Dub yelled. "The Leaf is mine! Cowow, heal me!"
"He doesn't drop the Leaf! That's Executus!"
"He's at one percent, guys, we can't wipe this!"
"Dex is down! NO! Dub, what are you doing? DON'T TAKE THE POTION!"
The entire raid stared, watching from beyond the ghostly veil as Dub pulled the vial from his pocket and, with one swig, drank the entire contents.
Nefarian turned, gasping for breath and raised his massive, bleeding paw to strike.
"DON'T YOU HURT COWOW, YOU BITCH!" Dub cried, and sprang.
Slice and Dice was active, he had full combo-points, and with a fury not even known to the most hardened of warriors, he hit Eviscerate.
Nefarian came crashing down.
"HOLY CRAP, HE DID IT!"
Dub beamed and lifted the beasts right wing.
"Yes!" he yelled. "Yes, Cowow, look! I told you; it's the Leaf!"
"How?" Dex said to no one in particular.
Cowow smiled and watched as his friend hugged The Ancient and extremely Petrified Leaf while dancing around the dead Dragon.
"Yes," he said fondly. "Yes, it is."
Writing: Very Dane