1 year ago 💘 for day 1, 2019 with 308 words.

Onwards

So today is the first day of a new year, right? I feel cautiously optimistic about everything I could potentially achieve this year, but I don't want to get too far ahead of myself.

I've surrounded myself with people who for the most part all have resolutions, big and small, to try and do something in the next year to change their lives. I'm starting a podcast chroniciling this journey, and today I'm in multiple minds about it.

The mountain goats, whose song 'This Year' I used for my accidental pilot episode, tweeted today some things that made me cry. The crux is 'Every day above ground is a good day' and while it is a bleak way to put it, people are struggling in new and unexpected ways everyday.

I've often found it hard to reconcile in my head the gap between where I am and where I want to be. People with countless advantages are all compared to me as if I could've done everything if only I'd tried harder to pull myself up by my bootstaps.

I'd love to throw my hands up at this point and say I'll never do that again, but humans are fallible. All I can do is strive to do better each and every day, and forgive myself on the days I don't feel I've measured up.

As the new year unfolds I hope I discover more things like this, with a deep emotional knowing, rather than the intellecual sureity that failed to push me through many obstacles.

I got very off topic due to a break in the middle of this - a break in the middle of three hundred words, oops - but I hope to do better tomorrow. So far so good, and I hope you're all having a wonderful time.

dreamer

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