7 months ago 💘 for day 302, 2020 with 435 words.

Workaholic

Can you be considered a workaholic if you work 2/3 hours a day, max? Does it count if you aren't working fulltime or more? Because, if the number of hours doesn't matter... I think I may be.

I was thinking yesterday about why I do some work almost every single day. Officially Wednesdays and weekends are 'off' but I rarely do nothing work-related on those days. I was wondering why that was and part of the reason is that I just really really like it. In my mind, it feels like there are two functions to a day; workdays or chore days. And since chores are even less fun, work easily trumps chores! I'd much rather think about what next steps I need to take for my website, or for Patreon than say... do the dishes.

There's an obvious downside to this of course and that's stress. I feel stressed and tense a lot of the time. My mind is often working on what's next and what'll come after that or what I'd like to do or change or improve or... All that. Naturally, when we talk about me working, we often end up talking about the toll it takes. And when we talk about why I do the things I do, we talk about the pressure goals tend to give. But I don't think we ever just reached that simple conclusion. I tend to work so much because actually, I do like it. We (Dim & I) talk about how achieving goals gives that high, or about how the list of todo's never becomes shorter for me. We talk about all the negative impacts the culture of materialism (money) and productivity has on our self-image and life and how bad it is that we go along with this. Stuck to this. Enticed by this. Despite knowing better. But in all this conscious talk I feel like I often forget that simple truth. By focusing on the negative, I forget the positive. I like it. I like feeling productive. I like doing those things. I like having a new post up or creating my website, or working on achieving my goals of maybe one day becoming more financially independent from my art. From my business. I think it's okay to just like things sometimes and let go of all that other stuff. Maybe I can find a place of relaxation, a place of calm, from the positive insights. Rather than the negativity of must or need.

(This insight was probably brought on by Cat's post from the other day so, thank you Cat!)

dreamer

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By Leonie Jonk 💘

Artist & Spoonie I write about my life as an artist and as a person with chronic pain, the struggles, the rewards, the inspiration & the downfalls. Oh and occasionally the odd piece of fiction :)

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