1 month ago 💘 for day 7, 2021 with 675 words.

Priorities

Lately, I haven't been able to make writing a priority. Or rather, I've chosen not to. Every day I think I want to but I wake up and find that there are so many things I want to do more. Things I want to do first. So I throw myself into all the things that I want to do and decide that when the day is through, I'll write about it. But by the time the evening rolls around I usually find myself feeling so fatigued, it's hard to string a sentence together. When I write, it's for social media or for Patreon. It's a different kind of writing for sure and although I still reflect, I do miss the writing and connecting that I did here. That we do here.

It's strange that I'm paying for a subscription that I use maybe once a month. But at the same time, I love the little community I have here and I don't want to give it up. It makes me feel sad that I can't be in touch as much as I'd like (and I'm finding myself incapable of making the Sunday calls when either real-life activities or recovering take precedence over online things). On the other hand, I know that we are friends and that we do our best to be in touch with each other and that a few days or weeks of silence don't necessarily mean that we've forgotten each other. That's a nice feeling to have. So just know that even if I don't write a tonne, I still read. I read your posts and I wish you well, even if I don't comment or like all the time. I'm around ;)

My week has been nuts, so a tiny recap :

  • We talked to the bank and it looks like we'll be able to get a mortgage! So after we've gotten our tax return in july we can start looking for a house!
  • Today I drove myself to Amsterdam (it's only 30 minutes but that's a lot when you're tired!) and back! Dim was with me for emotional driving support which was nice
  • In Amsterdam I had a screening for a chronic pain rehabilitation program, which I've been waiting on for.. nearly a year. It seems to have gone well! There was an interview with a doctor, a physical and then an interview with a psychologist. It was incredibly intense and I was dizzy and shaky by the end of it, mostly from the tension/stress/adrenaline, but there's reasons to believe that I might get in!
  • If I do get in that's also terrifying but it's a new thing and thats good!
  • Dim started his new job and it really seems to have improved his spirits
  • I haven't been able to sleep well all week because I was so nervous about the first 4 things on here and so I'm not feeling too good
  • I've been working on a 10 minute art video for Youtube and although it's been challenging and lots of work, it's also been fun! I did voice over and it was weiiird but I think it turned out well. I'm going to put it up on Patreon soon and then maybe make it public at.. some point
  • Me working on that video seems to have inspired dim because now he's suddenly talking about wanting to recrod music again! Music for me to use! Meanwhile, a week ago he had a meltdown about not enjoying music anymore, so I think that we're out of the woods there! :D
  • I've been working hard on making a library of content for social media so I can let it just.. post, for a while. But it's a tonne of work and it's exhausting me.
  • I have some work for my old client again which may mean a steady stream of some income, it's not much but it's something
  • I'm at the final episode of the adventure zone's first big big story and it's exciting!!

that's... about it! :) I hope you're well!

dreamer

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By Leonie Jonk 💘

Artist & Spoonie I write about my life as an artist and as a person with chronic pain, the struggles, the rewards, the inspiration & the downfalls. Oh and occasionally the odd piece of fiction :)

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