7 months ago 💘 for day 45, 2020 with 740 words.

Our house

Rant incoming!

We've lived in our current apartment since the day after Christmas, 3 years ago. It has a lot going for it. It's in Amsterdam and in a beautiful location at that. The street is lovely and fairly calm (considering). The neighbours are nice, we even have a yearly barbeque. It has big windows and beautiful features that are, if I'm being truly honest, fake, but very pretty nonetheless. We have a bedroom, a smallish second room where we both work, almost butt to butt. It also has some storage space that we (or mostly the boyfriend) uses to work on projects. We have a nice balcony that, although far to hot to use in summer, is nice in spring and fall. There's so many nice parks nearby, tiny and bigger ones. There's a safe parking space for Dim's motorcycle.
But like any home, it also has downsides.
Despite the relatively nice neighbourhood, we have noise problems almost always. There are always apartments being renovated. The neighbours on one side are shouters with loud kids, the others are new and have parties (though relatively calm ones). There are various neighbours across from us who have very bright lights on all throughout the night. It's bright anyway because of light pollution but a beam shining into your bedroom is a bit much. There are often balcony doors slamming open for nights on end, giving off loud metallic bangs that keep us up. I think over the 3 years we've lived here we've had serious noise problems for over a year. That's a LOT. Waking up at 7 in the morning on a Sunday because they are demolishing the apartment next door is no fun. Having people walk across your balcony for months because those are being renovated isn't either. And those blasted doors. Why do so many people not lock them?? It's also expensive and relatively cramped.

This morning a guy came over to inspect our balcony. You see they did such a terrible job a year and half ago that they have to get redone and something in me just snapped. We've thought a lot about moving over the past years, to try and lower our monthly expenses, to be able to save up for (maybe) buying a house next year or after and to get away from the crowdedness. Even in our nice street, it feels like I'm constantly stuck in a busy intersection. We're looking to buy a new hamper and we need to measure if it fits. I'm constantly trying to come up with smart ways of maximizing space so we can fit in our stuff and also find it when we need it. It's beginning to drive me nuts. I want to move.
I want to move now.
I was never ready to leave the city but all of a sudden I am.
I really don't want to sit here with guys demolishing & rebuilding the balcony next to my bedroom & office all day for months. I don't want to do that anymore.

This couldn't come at a worse time. On the one hand, I had re-applied myself to giving myself rest and space and all of that to recover. And this news threw me so bad that I've now gotten myself stuck on rental sites all day. It's giving me a headache. But I also fear what the stress of another 2/3 or more months or renovating work will do to me. I want to get better. These things are not helping. :( We have a viewing already, next Monday. It's a nice apartment but has no outside (no balcony or garden) and probably not going to be a good fit for us. But guys.. That kitchen has so many cupboards.. So many more than the 4 we have here.. I wouldn't have to look for a way to replace all our glassware with stackable options anymore (because I need to move the fancy glasses from the one open closet so the books can go in there so it's no longer just an enormous stack on the floor in a non-pretty kind of way) or have to measure to see if the hamper would fit. I would want that. I want a house. A house with a garden and space so I can put all the cats' stuff in 1 place instead of stuffing it wherever I can find a bit of space. I really want to move. NOW.

dreamer

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By Leonie Jonk 💘

Designer & Illustrator with a burnout. I write fiction, the odd tech or design article & I write about my personal struggle with Burnout.

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