2 months ago 💘 for day 217, 2020 with 600 words.

How do you help your partner when they struggle?

After a rough weekend with some downs (one of which I wrote here), some ups (we went to get a Loempia at the market and we went for a short motorcycle ride!) we've finally arrived at a new week. After spending most of Sunday feeling like everything was a pain (note to self: don't do a new challenging workout and then go on a motorcycle ride the next day when you have fibro and are in poor health), today I finally feel a bit better. Like the current regular me that gets headaches after doing anything for 30 minutes but who can feel a bit better after some rest. That may not sound like progress, but to me, it is for sure! Glad to be back here <3

My old client called me today. He needed some extra illustrations done for an addition to the sales funnel and he wanted to reach out to tell me he was so happy with the work I'd done and hoped to work together a lot more in the future! He's such an excited guy and always so busy, it was a pleasure to work with him. If even just because every time we talked he was absolutely psyched about what I had for him. He even wondered if I could do some more branding work for a new thing him and his wife are wanting to start up! I told him that I wasn't working much right now due to my health so that's okay, but it's so nice to know that he was so happy that he'd consider me for another project! Even while he's still in the midst of finishing up this one! That's a good feather in my cap if I do say so myself :)

There are worries though because today, again, I found myself hugging an extremely frustrated and down partner. He's a developer and although I'm pretty sure (no very sure, I'm very sure) he's a really good one, he gets frustrated with his job a lot. It's not the colleagues or anything like that though. A project change or client change won't necessarily fix it. It's been this way since his burnout last year. There are days when he just hates it. Every Monday after just a few hours he'll feel shitty again and his head will start to ache and he'll wonder if it'll ever get any easier and why he's doing this in the first place. He feels stuck since he's our main provider and he makes a pretty decent sum right now. There are many days when he'd love to do something creative, like build things (he loves woodworking) or with his music. But he often gets stuck with his music and he's doesn't know what else to do than what he is doing. He's scared of trying anything new, with the burden of my care on him. I'm convinced that he, like me, has ADHD. He always has a hundred projects going and many never see the finish line. This, of course, only makes him feel more insecure. Should he even try to do something different? What if he gets sick of it after a few months like he gets sick of this work? Etcetera, etcetera. I wish I could help him, but I have no idea where I'd even start. He's going to try to start setting up a side business building wooden pedal-boards. I do hope that he finds some enjoyment in that. And who knows, maybe even some money? How do you help a partner when they're struggling? Who knows.

dreamer

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By Leonie Jonk 💘

Designer & Illustrator with a burnout. I write fiction, the odd tech or design article & I write about my personal struggle with Burnout.

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