2 years ago 💘 for day 167, 2020 with 738 words.

Great weekend, tired Monday, what to do?

I'm tired today. This isn't strange since I am some form of tired almost every single day, but today it's a bit more defined and the reason is a good one. Because today I'm tired because I had a really great weekend! Busy, but great.

On Saturday we went to the garden centre with my parents and filled the whole car up with plants for the backyard. We went home with 6 lavender plans (two varieties) some French Marigold's (which are called African's in Dutch, just a little racist naming fact for you), a little olive tree, another tree that I've already forgotten the name of, a Calendula, some other ground plants with teensy tiny flowers to fill up the gaps and two huge hanging Petunia plants. The other tree was so big that it didn't fit in the car! Luckily my dad has a sunroof in his car and so we sped home with this tree's dainty white and light green leaves fluttering all the way home.
After that, we ate some and rested and then Dimitri got to work in the garden. First, we arranged the plants in various compositions in two places in the back yard and then Dim started pulling up stones to make space for our brand new plant family. We used the stones to build the beds and after hours of work in the hottest sun we've had so far this year (I made sure a parasol gave him the shade he needed, arranging and rearranging it as he worked) we had our first outside garden! Since I kept getting dizzy spells I mostly laid down on our outside sofa and pointed and advised while poor Dim schlepped and dug and planted. But the result is terrific!

On Sunday I did housework, tidying up, laundry, dishes, all that kind of jazz. We hung out in the backyard a bit, I looked at my social media stuff to figure out a new tactic and in the evening we went for a long long walk. One of the longest we've had so far! Then we got home and splayed out on the couch and watched NCIS reruns. That doesn't sound like a big deal but there were months, no years when I couldn't watch two episodes of such a show in a row. I could only listen to the second, or I'd have to take a break after watching something so that my headache and fatigue could go down enough so I could watch another one. To be able to just casually relax like, something which happens more and more lately is something I hope I'll never take for granted.

The downside of all of this is that today, I am tired. I had planned on inking a painting I'm working on but the tiredness feels stretched out through me. My hands ache and my arms are heavy. Not the best way to feel when trying to ink, especially not if you use a brush pen, which I'd been planning to use since it needs a light touch. I need to have some content to post on Friday for my social media schedule to hold up, so this means I have a few choices;

  1. Ink anyway and hope for the best. Accept the possible headache and overall aches this might bring. Inking is intense and focused work, but it is light on the brain since all you have to do is follow the lines. And since my brain feels equally tired, that might be a good thing.
  2. Sketch something else now and ink this one on Wednesday. I've been putting off taking reference photo's for this one for some odd reason, but maybe now's the time?
  3. Work on an another product for my Etsy shop. But this is harder on my brain and I'm not sure I feel like it. It is, however, easier on my body and my body does feel heavy today.

At least I am trying my best to make sure I take care of myself first. And to not push myself too much. Because the #1 priority today will be resting and eating well. I need to get my strength up. Especially considering that tomorrow I'll have my very first face to face appointment with the rheumatologist to discuss Fibromyalgia as a possible diagnosis for all these aches and pains and fatigue. Fingers crossed it goes well!

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By Leonie Jonk 💘

Artist & Spoonie I write about my life as an artist and as a person with chronic pain, the struggles, the rewards, the inspiration & the downfalls. Oh and occasionally the odd piece of fiction :)

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