1 year ago 💘 for day 269, 2020 with 330 words.

Feeling lousy

Please feel free to look away while I whine for a bit.

I feel super lousy. I've spent most of the past week trying to get a lot more rest than usual and taking away the things that give me unnecessary stress. In general, I've tried to let the want of moving forward go and I thought this was helping. Despite that, I felt extremely tired yesterday. My mum came over and spent 3 hours cleaning up various parts of the house, most specifically the bedroom and after she left and I took a nap I actually felt a bit like a human again. Oh wait, then I spent a good long while looking for new chairs for our dining table (we've had two small chairs for a long time and it's time to add two so we don't have to keep bringing in the outdoor chairs whenever there's a guest) and we bought two things for beside the bed and an open closet for the washing room. I can't remember the words for either of these because today I've been an absolute zombie of a human being. I'm dizzy, my throat hurts, my head hurts a lot, I'm nauseous and I feel like all food is disgusting and I have serious trouble hanging onto my thoughts. I try to nap but honestly even that is hard somehow. I thought that overall I'd be feeling a heck of a lot better today but the opposite is true. Either I really overdid it and I didn't judge myself right, or it's a belated resulting flare or I'm getting the flue. This had better not be corona. This weekend is Digikomi and I really had hoped that I'd be able to attend the digital conference all day (except for at least two hours where my friends will log on in my stead) but I don't know how I'll manage. Watching a tv-show feels hard. We'll just have to see what tomorrow brings.

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By Leonie Jonk 💘

Artist & Spoonie I write about my life as an artist and as a person with chronic pain, the struggles, the rewards, the inspiration & the downfalls. Oh and occasionally the odd piece of fiction :)

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