2 weeks ago 💘 for day 95, 2021 with 364 words.

Changing my attitude

I can have something of a 'can't do' -attitude at times.

Over the last years, I've learned to ask for advice. I didn't use to. I would ask questions, certainly, but for different reasons. Out of interest, in the subject or simply in the person. Because I know it makes them feel smart, even if it makes me look dumb. Or because it's a nice way to interact with someone. But over the last few years, I've been learning to ask for advice, to rely on others, as I learn what it means to be me, all over again. That's not a bad thing. But what is, is that I tend to dismiss the suggestions given to me. I don't mean for it to be dismissive, but when it comes to things that don't immediately fit in with my view of my world, I go hard on the "I can't do that" trigger. Too hard perhaps. When I do, it doesn't even really reflect what goes on in my mind. Most of the time the idea simmers and I come back to it later. I try to think 'maybe' and I try it out. See if it'll work after all. But in my communication, I'm still dismissive. I can imagine this makes it feel like I'm dismissive of the advice, or the person giving it and I hate that idea. So I want to do my best to try and change that.

It's important to know your boundaries, especially when you are striving to improve yourself and your life. It's important to know this so you don't get seduced into stepping outside of them again and again. So that you don't seduce yourself into doing so. But once you know them, I think it's important to realize what is possible within those boundaries and to keep your eyes open so that you can see when they're ready to shift. I think it's time for me to open my mind more and to see tips and advice, not within the frame of what I can't, but of what I can. Or could, with some adjustment. I think it's time I change my attitude.

dreamer

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By Leonie Jonk 💘

Artist & Spoonie I write about my life as an artist and as a person with chronic pain, the struggles, the rewards, the inspiration & the downfalls. Oh and occasionally the odd piece of fiction :)

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