I ventured out into the world today. That isn't really anything new, it just felt like a good way to begin this post.
I had a walk planned with Rin today in the forest close to my place. The location was changed because the Danish weather decided to be very typical (it was raining, a lot). Instead, we walked around the mall right next to the central station. It was super cool to meet them in person! We forgot to take a picture though (sorry Yorick!) but we did meet, I swear!
After the walk, I met up with my sister to do some shopping. She needed summer clothes for work, I didn't have better plans. I ended up buying a Nintendo Switch Pro controller while she looked at handbags.
During the whole day, a worry about the pain in my teeth was present. I worried about why it's happening and what's causing it. I worried it might just be the beginning and oh my stars, what if it's gonna be like this for the rest of my life or get worse.
While waiting for my sister I read an article about false vacuum decay and the idea that life and everything might just be over without any of us ever realizing is such a nice comfort. It's suicidal ideation on a whole other level. It's an out I don't have control over. Aaaand then my teeth anxiety returned.
The eternal night
Everything was dark, she couldn't see anything at all. There were no sounds either. Just the opposite of an echo. A sense of panic seemed to spread. She tried to calm herself down by reminding herself she had feet. But as she tried to wiggle her toes, she noticed she didn't have any. No feet either. Actually, she no body at all! The panic seemed to grow until it suddenly didn't. She noticed another feeling; a feeling of calm and connectedness.
She was not alone in this dark and quiet place. Everything living was there with her. She couldn't explain how it was all connected, she just knew it was!
She had to be dead. This would explain it all. She wasn't happy about this conclusion as there had still been things she would like to do. But if this was death, it seemed things could be worse. She was allowed to just be still for a while. It was nice.
Then a sharp sound pierced the eternal silence. The whole place was bathed in an overwhelming light. She suddenly had an arm that went straight for the source of the noise.
It was Monday morning and her alarm had woken her up.
The calm of death had to wait, she had a deadline by the end of the week and had to put in extra hours.