I'm exhausted and I just want to go to bed and sleep for the next 12 hours but there are a couple of things I need to do before I can do that. One of the things I need to do is write here so here I am.
I have 2 months and 3 weeks left before I meet my final Write together goal. I'm gonna make it till 3 years just so I can say I did it. I know I won't get an achievement for it or anything, nor a batch or diploma of any kind. I'll do it just so I know I've done it.
Life is difficult at the moment. I thought I left all this in my early 20s but I guess not? I'm not depressed and I don't suffer from burnout or anything like that. I guess I'm just grappling with the fact that I am existing as a consciousness in this world that makes a lot of sense while not making any sense at all, with a body that will slowly decay as I try to get from one end of life to the other in a meaningful way, whatever that means.
And with that terribly long sentence, I've met my 200-word goal. Onto the next 200!
What do you really want in life?
The flash fired again. She closed her eyes for a moment as the smile rested. Then she once again put on her biggest brightest smile and the flash fired one, two, and three times more. Her followers would love these pictures, she just knew it! She anticipated at least 2000 new followers.
The shoot wrapped and she paid the photographer, assistant, and makeup artist what they were owed for their time. She always paid in cash, never products or "exposure". She knew from experience that being paid in anything but cash feels like you're being taken advantage of.
When everyone had left, she went to lay down. This shoot would take a while to recuperate from. She was only 24 but her mind felt more fragmented and worn down than a bottle after 50 years on the ocean. She had made the deal though and so far it was working. She had gotten everything she was promised; the looks, the opportunities, the fame, and the following. It was everything she had ever dreamt of since she was a little kid. She also knew she wouldn't be able to make it till 30 at this pace.
She closed her eyes for a second and reality slipped away from her. She woke up again 2 days later, exhausted. She had to get ready to shoot another video right away.