Another day, another 2 x 200.
I have made myself a cup of nighttime tea and I plan to be in bed before 11PM! Last night was rough and I've been exhausted all day. I didn't fall asleep until 4AM and woke up a million times during the night.
This morning, after deciding I had overslept and couldn't make it to the pool in time, I got up and went anyway. Fuck shaving my legs and fuck being there from the beginning. I went there and was in the water for about 20 minutes. Not perfect, but a whole lot better than not going! Well done me.
The rest of the day, as I said, I was exhausted. But like it is most days, I also had a handful of things I really wanted to do. These days it just takes an amount of effort to get started/finish things that I don't seem to have. I did manage to set up my watercolors and I am not working on a card I've wanted to do for ages! It's far from finished but I'm closer now that I was yesterday.
I hate that I need to break everything into tiny steps and treat just doing something as such a big thing, but beating myself up or calling myself lazy will not help (I have tried that approach for years and it does not work).
Okay, 11PM is a little optimistic as I got swallowed up by other things. I think all Yorick's support regarding my collection has gone to my head, because I just looked into physical printing options. I should start with a PDF and possibly an EPUB. Keep it simple with as few expenses as possible.
Shopping list; information incomplete
He had gone grocery shopping and mentally put 'Vacuum bags' on the list without really considering what that entailed. So when he came to the cleaning supply aisle — ice cream, milk, and all in the cart — he realized his error. He hadn't learned from the last time since the last time happened 3 years ago. He just stared at all the different boxes, paralyzed by all the options. For some reason, he hadn't thought that maybe vacuum cleaner bags aren't like standard A4 printer paper (only one option) or cucumbers (only two options; organic and not organic). Vacuum cleaner bags were more like milk or shampoo in the number of choices, except both those products depend on subjective opinions and taste and not plastic and cardboard pieces fitting neatly together so dust and dog hair isn't sprayed all over a livingroom 10 minutes before the arrival of a hot and much-needed date.
Caught like a deer in headlights he just stood there as the world seemed busy around him, time ticking by. He didn't know the model name of the vacuum (a present from his aunt not long after he moved into the nice two-room apartment and no longer had to occupy her couch). Nor did he know the brand (who knows that stuff??).
He picked up a box that said 'Universal vacuum bags' with the idea that this might turn out to be a lot easier than first anticipated. Then he noticed the '- for Electrolux, AEG, and Philips'. Shit. He looked slightly to the right and saw 'Universal vacuum bags for Bosch and Siemens'. Next to it were 'Universal vacuum bags for Miele'. And then there were all the non-universal bags.
He was a "no manual needed" kind of guy but in this situation, he couldn't study the two pieces he would have to fit together. There was no solution that looked more right than another. Sure he could come back another day after studying the vacuum cleaner and the model number but he didn't want to do that. He wanted to check off this item on his mental ToDo list now.
He picked the box that listed the most brand names and hoped that would be good enough.