3 months ago 🤯 for day 187, with 390 words.

I'm a fake fan?

A couple of years ago I bought 3 VHS tapes with the original Star Wars trilogy. I wanted the original VHS version because I'm not happy with the Special Edition from 1997 — the effects don't do the movies any good in my opinion.
Luckily the ones I found were released in 1995 and thus didn't have the terrible effects.

(Sidenote: I believe that in the vast majority of cases practical effects are to be preferred over computer-generated imagery)

Anyway! I've watched the VHS tapes once. With the exception of A New Hope, this was the first time I watched the movies that I can remember aside for that time I tried to watch them with an ex but kept falling asleep... I've probably seen parts of them as a kid (I remember the scene in Return of The Jedi where Luke removes Darth Vader's helmet before he dies so I know I've seen that).

Back in the beginning of the 2010s I got a gray t-shirt​ from H&M that simply said 'Star Wars' in the Star Wars logo font in black. I knew I liked the "nerdness" that signaled, but it wasn't something I knew a lot about. I knew the movies were iconic though and I appreciated​ the fandom around it. It was also a really nice shirt.

I was always afraid someone would want to test my knowledge to find out if I was a "real" fan. That did happen once and I felt like a complete idiot — the guy might just have wanted to make conversation, but the feeling I was left with was the same. I was a fraud, a fake.

Since then I've tried to make up for that. I got the original movies (as original as I could get my hands on with the technology available​ to me) and I've watched the new releases including the Solo movie + Rogue One. I know the order of all the movies​, when they​ were approximately​ released and I've seen the newer ones in the theater when they were released.

Yet I still feel like a fake fan. It's like I can never become big enough a fan to ever be able to wear the t-shirt with pride​. I don't know if that feeling will ever go away, but I really hope so!

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By Kirstine Granzow Larsen 🤯

I recently got a Master's degree in IT Product Design and I'm currently looking for my first job! ✨

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