Today was yet another day I wanted to skip posting, but I've decided (as you can see) to write a post anyway. I will keep the streak alive!!
And that's interestingly enough the theme of my post today; keeping something alive. Or maybe not alive. Suspended with the possibility for life might be a better way to describe it.
At the beginning of 2017, I had a small crisis. A lot of my friends on Facebook posted about being pregnant or getting married. At the time it had been a year after a breakup with a boyfriend of 3,5 years. That was the longest relationship I had ever had (still is).
I've always said that if I were to have kids, I would have the first one before the age of 30. At the time I was around 24 and even after 3,5 years with the same guy I hadn't felt ready to make a family. Far from it. That meant I had 6 years left to:
- Find a guy.
- Fall madly in love and continue to love this person even after the first 2 years (that's usually when things fall apart for me).
- Decide to have a baby.
- Get pregnant and give birth.
Point 4. could easily take a year and point 2. takes 2 years which left me with 3 years to find the father of my future children. That's not an easy task!
I spent nights awake because of the pressure. I wasn't even sure I wanted kids. But I was freaking out! I was so afraid I would miss out. I wasn't ready for a serious relationship and since kids were never a huge dream, I didn't consider the single parent life with a sperm donor.
The solution to my insomnia came when I one night made a decision. After having Googled things thoroughly I had decided I would freeze my eggs! In Denmark, you can only do so for 5 years and I decided I would look into the process when I turn 28 (that way I get to keep some of the pre-30s freshness a couple of years into my 30s). I made a small note in my calendar and mentally marked the problem as solved. Maybe I would find a guy before then — which would mean I didn't have to worry about the egg freezing anyway — but in case I didn't, I had a plan!
My 28th birthday is only a year away now. I feel a bit more relaxed about (not) having kids. I'm pretty sure it's not in the cards for me, but I'm still open to the idea. If I have the money in a year, I will look into the process of having some eggs frozen, just to be sure I'm not gonna run out. A lot can happen in a year, but having a plan still makes me feel calmer about the whole thing.