I had online tea with a friend today. It was really nice to catch up. At some point, we talked about our fears; the kind of fears you have no control over. My fear is losing my teeth, she will most likely develop periodontitis at some point and isn't too worried about that. Her fear is losing her sense of smell because she loves food so much. I had to deal with barely any taste/smell when I had Covid and while it was annoying, it wasn't that big a problem for me.
Both of our fears might happen at some point, it's not in our control. In a way, it was nice to hear someone say that one of my biggest fears wasn't their biggest fears. Life goes on in either case and if that were to happen to us, we wouldn't be the first.
Nothing in life is permanent. My body will change as I age. Trying to deny this will only make things worse. Time will wash over me like ocean waves and they will occasionally take something with them back into the ocean. If I don't want to follow, I'll have to let go of those things.
I can't let anxiety control my life.
Daylight and night time
They looked up at the sky as the sun had dipped below the horizon. The temperature was dropping to a level that made it possible to be outside without taking any damage. Not a single cloud in sight. There hadn't been for weeks now. They sat down next to their home, the ground still warm. Had it been 20 years ago, this action could be compared to slipping into a bathtub with water that was just a little too hot to be comfortable, but these days it didn't make much sense as there wasn't enough water to take baths.
They sat there, thinking about the sky above. Of course it didn't have a mind of its own, it couldn't make observations but they wondered if there was a kind of energy to the Planet that sensed what was going on. How humans and animals alike were struggling to survive. Did this bother the Planet? Or did it feel like the warming was a kind of medicine to get rid of the disease that is human existence? Maybe it didn't care at all.
Their life would be over in the blink of an eye, compared to that of the whole planet. They felt small as people around them began to spill into the streets. "Enough thinking," they thought, "it's time to get some work done." They got up and went into the night.