I had a date tonight!! After messaging for a few days we finally met. He's well vaccinated and we both got an antigen test beforehand, it wasn't even an issue.
I was 20 minutes late but that didn't seem to be a problem at all as he was a little behind schedule as well. We just talked for 2.5 hours and had an old fashioned. I met his brother (his roomie) as well.
I'm back in my apartment after calling both my grandmother and my sister to let them know I'm alive and well. Now I'm here alone.
My last date was back in May 2019 so it's been a while. I'm currently dealing with a metric ton of post-date anxiety. What if I said something dumb, I know I said something dumb. Why do I say dumb things like that? And on a first date! Just hold back a little, Kirstine! Don't show all your edges.
I'm afraid he judges me as a person. I'm scared that I really like him and that he doesn't like me at all. I'm terrified that I like him and that he likes me back.
I guess this is exactly why I haven't been on a date in two and a half years. This shit is exhausting while simultaneously being incredibly exciting.
Ups and downs
The 4 seasons seemed to be a theme throughout her life. The first 10 years were like Winter; quiet with everything saving their energy for spring. She experienced a massive loss when her father passed away but she kept going. Even an endless Winter comes to an end Even an endless Winter has fun and good experiences.
Her teenage years were like Spring. Everything had unlimited potential. The bad days were bad but the good days were the best.
Her Summer met her in her 20s and 30s. They were stable and she was able to build something lasting. She encountered some rainy days and incredible thunderstorms. She often managed to find the positive even in the extremes.
By her 40s Fall had entered. Everything she had planted in the past two decades paid off and her life was filled with beauty, joy, and cozy times. She loved every minute of it and took in as much as humanly possible. None of the good times were wasted on her. Everything was savored and preserved for the Winter she knew was inevitable. No matter what Winter was bringing, she was aware, deep down, that Spring would come once again and that Spring blends into Summer eventually.