Something I've been spending the past month wrestling with is, what's next for me?
The past six months I've been working on a startup, but for reasons not worth going into here, I won't be working on that this year. I knew that may well be the case when I started six months back so I'm stoically at peace about that, but that doesn't answer the question of what's next.
Whenever I enter a crossroads I have the conflicting emotions of excitement and apprehension. I could turn this way or that way, take this door or that. Which door leads where? Which path is right for me? And what do I want again?
Oh yeah, my priority this year is a healthy Fred. Healthy mentally, physically, spiritually. I guess that should be a guiding principle in whichever path I take next.
As I've been wrestling with this the past month, I've had a few potential pathways appear. I've been weighing up which fit best with my dreams and desires, trying to rank order them so I know which to go with if it becomes available.
Over the past couple days, one door has closed and another doesn't look great. The third isn't in it's best shape either, and I'm not sure it's a path I want to take.
I'm away next week, taking some time out to get some headspace and perspective. The plan was to weigh up the potential options, but funnily enough there might not end up being any immediate options to weigh up. I might need to slow down and be more patient. Maybe I won't smoothly transition from one thing to the next. Maybe that's ok.
In the meantime, I'm enjoying the possibilities. One thing life isn't right now is boring. I'm trying to question my assumptions and push some boundaries. I'm trying to understand myself better so I can tweak my human machine.
I'm going to enjoy my time away next week. I'm going to enjoy today, too.