Getting better at taking one step at a time. That's what I'm trying to do, at least.
I'm a strange character. In some ways I'm able to ignore things that most folks would spend quite a bit of mental energy on. But in other ways, I can think deeply about stuff most people don't ever think about.
I don't really understand that about myself, but I've seen it enough times to know it's a pattern.
So in one way, I'm able to move forwards without overthinking consequences. And in other ways, I've plotted every eventual path ahead and now taking a step seems like a big deal.
I've just finished reading Fathered By God, which talks about the stages of maturity, growing up as a man. There's a quote in there that jumped out at me as if it was written for me, today:
"Thankfully, climbing, like life, comes to us one piece at a time. You cannot take the whole mountain at once [...] You make the next move, committed that your only plan is to do it."
I feel that. It's so true. Life can only be taken one step at a time.
We've all heard the saying, "a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step". But in times when things have been overthought and looked at from many angles, it can become difficult to not pre-occupy myself by thinking steps ahead, when all I can affect is the step in front of me now.
Focus is hard, I find. Meditation is a good example. Just trying to sit for 30 seconds and focus on the sky, I find that hard enough.
I guess it shows that there's some inner restlessness going on. Some things unresolved that nag at me.
I guess that's part of life. Unanswered questions. The unforeseen future. Uncertain steps.
Being self-aware of the situation is the first step in changing it, I guess.
I'm guessing a lot here. But I guess we all are.