Waking up to see the news of the terror attacks in New Zealand, and what can you say? What can you do with news like that?
Words fall short at times like this. But words are what I write every day, so words will be written.
I've so many friends from New Zealand. So many great, joyful, kind friends. So I feel connected to this in a way.
It's hard to really picture this news story as a thing that actually happened. As something that real people did. That our brothers and sisters in this world have been murdered, wiped out, in a cold, calculated attack.
In some ways it's more jarring because it's New Zealand. I've grown accustomed to hearing of mass shootings in the US, but New Zealand? That's a beautiful, safe country full of warm-hearted people. That's no place for a barbaric act like this.
It's just so sad. What must have been going through the minds of the murderers. The fact they plotted and worked as a team. The fact they went through with their plan, and didn't shock themselves with the reality of it, but carried on.
It's so sad that yet again this happens in a place of worship. Yet again those who've woken up and decided to lift their heads above their little lives have ended up paying for it with them.
It's a stark reminder of how broken a world we live in. Of how broken the people within it are.
Last night I had some friends over for dinner, and we spoke about the challenges we're facing and how we struggle and fail. It was a beautifully honest spontaneous conversation that is a reflection of where we're all at.
We all struggle to live up to the expectations we or others set for us. We're all broken. They say hurt people hurt people.
I can't begin to get my head around what's gone on this morning. All I know is that this world is hurting.