Today. Today is all I can control right now. More accurately, today is all I can affect right now. Tomorrow is tomorrow Fred's problem, and yesterday has come and gone.
Despite this, I often spend a lot of my time thinking about tomorrow. How will this thing go that's on my mind? How will the other people react? What does the future look like?
Generally I feel I'm quite relaxed and don't overthink things, but for important stuff, you'll find me buried deep in my man cave examining little details and plotting what might come next.
I spend an unreasonable amount of energy on worrying about tomorrow. It's exhausting.
Some days I'll go to bed emotionally shattered. Just drained. I've not even done that much that day, yet the batteries need a serious recharge.
And all for what? Often worrying about what comes next, despite my inability to reach into the future and touch it.
My rationale is that maybe I'll realise that if I tweak something now, it'll affect that tomorrow. And of course there's truth in that. Our today affects our tomorrow. This is the excuse I play over in my mind, as I drive myself crazy playing out all of tomorrow's eventualities and the impact they'd have on me.
Choosing not to do this is hard. I feel the struggle inside of me as I wrestle to grab control back from my emotions and projections. "It's ok, Fred" I whisper to myself. Calm down, it'll all be ok.
Jesus, arguably the most influential man who ever lived, spoke directly to this struggle:
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
As I go through a big period of uncertainty in my life, this path or that, this response or that, it's extremely challenging to put these words into practice. Everything inside of me is screaming to worry. To fear. To focus on what might go wrong tomorrow.
But I know the truth in this statement. Today has enough going on of its own. I'm trying to calm myself down, and focus on that.