Today, for the sixth time in the last five years, I moved apartments in Amsterdam. Over these last years I've packed my things, despaired at the volume of shoes I own, thrown out old papers that I thought were important and bribed a friend to drive my stuff to the opposite of wherever I was living SIX TIMES. I cannot stress how tiring and also emotionally charged moving out is, and anybody who has done it multiple times can relate for sure.
The times where you cry over how much stuff you have, feeling an overwhelming experience of having too much on your plate or in this case, your removal van. The anxiety of waiting for your deposit back from your sketchy landlord, or the zen-busting practice of dismantling an IKEA bed and then deciding that you'd rather throw it out and buy another rather than take it apart and lug it down three narrow flights of stairs.
Then there's the moment of getting your keys, of moving into your new place. Hauling yours stuff upstairs (thanks Charlotte and Salt <3 ) and making your bed for the first time. Figuring out which shelf you can put your groceries in and making awkward eye contact with your new neighbours.
It's saying goodbye to a place, closing a chapter, however soppy you want it to seem, and settling somewhere for a while, like a nesting animal. Humans need to live under a roof, have heat and food and shelter, yet we've managed to make the whole experience a life-altering thing full of emotion and new potential. Like an animal, when we nest we need to make our space familiar, safe and inviting, meaning we need to invest in little knick-knacks, posters and woolly blankets. (Ps. my birthday is coming up - I like vases and candles 😉)
I'm going to sleep in my new bed tonight, and when I wake up tomorrow, I'll probably have that familiar moment of huh? then adjustment to the new space, much like in a hotel setting. I wonder how many days it'll take until it feels like home - right now, I'm just happy to nest 🌸