I came to the Haxe community more or less by accident. Or rather, I came to it by boyfriend. Over the years, I've had a lot of ups and downs with it personally and professionally, but I have also grown a lot with the challenges. I've learned a lot about my boundaries and about motivating myself and others. I've learned how to work with people remotely and I've learned how to put on the odd event. I even gave a few talks and speeches.
This is the first time that I don't think about quitting after a major Haxe event. Perhaps, it's the fact that the event was virtual and went very well. The stakes were very low. Or, perhaps, I am just past the quitting thing and have gotten better at adjusting the intensity of my projects so that I never get into the deep despair anymore.
Whatever it is, the game is getting better the longer I play it. Every time I figure something out and make it happen, it feels really good.
Now, for example, I know that putting on a podcast style event is something I'd very much enjoy provided I can do it with Simon. We work really well together and accomplishing things with him feels good.
Conversely, the events I've organized without Simon have been much more difficult for me. Not having a "partner" to do things with makes things a lot harder for me. Not impossible, mind you, but a lot more draining.
Anyway. For me, the way this is going shows me several things:
- You can accomplish quite a bit just by virtue of sticking around, not quitting, and trying again and again. Eventually, something works.
- You can accomplish a lot in a space that is not necessarily your natural space. I am not a programmer and I have very little to do with Haxe itself, but I still enjoy engaging with the community.
- It helps to have a good cause to try things out for. The fact that Haxe was already there and already had a community meant that I didn't have to build that. I got to go straight to the "organizing things" part without having to think about what my topic is.
- Emotional progress is worth the fear and effort. I am a lot less afraid of doing things than I was a couple of years ago so while things were difficult and uncomfortable in between, I am glad I worked through it.