I've been craving pizza for the last fifteen minutes. I have no idea where this is coming from all of a sudden and I am also not particularly hungry, but somehow, this pizza thing will not let go.
Right this moment, I am telling myself that if I still want pizza after I am done with my writing, I will send my son to go and get some. These are the moments when I think it truly practical to have minions (kids). I think it is only fair, no? There has to be something in it for me what with all the worrying and care-taking. Pizza and coffee in bed in the morning are not too much to ask. After all, I do put myself through French practice every day just for him.
I am still not settled on what to write for my blog today. There are thoughts, sure, but nothing really seems appealing. Sometimes I feel like my mind is the most amazingly stocked refrigerator and I am stuck with very low appetite. Have you ever looked through your own thoughts and gone "meh...meh...not that one...ugh...boring...next"? That's me and my thoughts today.
For example, I could write about the fact that nothing happens when I meditate. Nothing interesting at least. If anything happens at all, it is too quiet for me to notice. And still, I think meditation is great because while nothing seems to happen when I do meditate (which I am sure is just tomfoolery) a lot happens when I don't.
I get much more unfocused and distracted. I also seem to be more inclined to emotional outbursts and getting back on track takes longer. I don't know, maybe I am just blaming every slip up on "I have not meditated in a while", but I really feel like it makes a difference long term.
The thing is, meditation is like exercise. You get stronger over time but individually, not much seems to happen.