It's so late and I totally forgot to write again.
In my defense, my brother came to visit and we ended up talking for a long, long time. I haven't seen him in a year and a lot of things happened since his last visit.
When he comes by, we talk about growing up a lot. He's twenty-four now and so well ahead in life but at the same time he struggles with all the things a guy his age struggles with. Sometimes it feels a little like a group of survivors. We both grew up in the same environment, just a couple of years apart. We lived. We carry the same stories. The same heartache, the strengths and weaknesses of our childhood. The mistakes and triumphs of our parents forever etched into our souls.
We struggle with the same issues around relationships and healthy boundaries. He asked me what it was like to see a therapist. I told him it was very helpful to me and encouraged him to find someone to talk to.
Therapy is difficult to get around to. Too many excuses, too much stigma. It's not easy to get past that. It's also not easy to open up to another person and talk productively and honestly about the confused bits if our internal wiring. But it's worth it.
I told him also that it doesn't always work out with the first therapist. It's like any other relationship. Sometimes it takes a while to figure it out and not everyone is a good fit with everyone else.
I really hope he goes for it. It would be lovely to see him figure some things out sooner than I did. Maybe just by a year or two but yes, the sooner the better. Because we all deserve a healthy start.