I got a new job!!!
It's not really a new job as much as a position on a different team in my old job, but I was so hoping this would be a Thing and indeed it was a Thing so good job me.
Now the problem is having the super awkward convo with my manager about leaving.
[It's not you, it's me. Except it's very much you too.]
I'm so relieved that I'm getting this job. The manager is amazing. They really seem invested in people's growth. One of the first things my new manager told me is how he really wants to make sure his developers have all the parts of the hierarchy of needs pyramids that he can influence filled. And also congratulated me and said he was impressed by some stuff in my resume.
Is this what being appreciated and truly cared for feels like???
I got my current position because it was prestigious. I'm happy I did (for a lot of reasons) but also it was yet another proof that prestigious means nothing. What matters is what you care about.
What I care about right now is the internet. I really want to help make a better internet. And I hope in this position it will actually be possible to work towards that.
I'm so excited I want to yell.
When they told me I got up and started pacing and had to call a friend to chat me up because I had too much energy to express.
I feel lighter than I have felt in ages.
Honestly, the best part of this, job aside, is I was very clear with this manager about who I was and what I care about and he seemed genuinely impressed.
Will I get to be myself (within limits) at work?
Will I be able to express my potential in a supportive environment?
God, it shouldn't be years before one gets to feel like that. This should be something that's optimized for since day 1.
Anyway, awkward conversations will happen, but if I hold onto the happy feeling of what's to come, I'm sure I can get through those.