Last night I could not sleep. I might have slept in a little too long into Sunday morning. Perhaps I was still hype after watching Game of Thrones. Whatever the case may be, I found myself reading a webtoon until around 2AM.
I know I really shouldn't be reading anything on a screen after 9PM if I hope to get to bed at a reasonable time, but sometimes it's the only thing that will calm my thoughts. Instead, the comic I was reading made me laugh and smile until I dozed off and dropped my phone onto the floor, startling myself awake long enough to finally switch off my device and turn over to sleep.
This took me back to myself in high school, binge reading webcomics, fanfiction, and blogs from other girls across the planet well into the wee hours of the morning. After school, I would spend hours exploring the internet, then 2 hours or so on homework, before diving into the web again. I got in trouble a lot because the other girls were not happy with me hogging the computer so much. I told them they could have the phones instead, since they were so boy crazy. That did not go over well.
Now that I'm spending a lot more time alone, I'm starting to feel the spark for old interests return. I've been itching to get back into anime, comics, and gaming, but I haven't quite found the way to incorporate it into my schedule again. At the beginning of this year, I had a really nice cadence established to make steady progress in The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, but suddenly one thing led to the next, and I just didn't have the time anymore. I stopped letting myself enjoy those things. When I am burnt out, those things that give me joy and recharge me are the first to go.
I must remind myself that joy and productivity must coexist or the reality is that they will both come to a screeching halt.