I like quotes. They distill a lot of wisdom into a few short lines. One that perpetually haunts me:
"When people show you who they are, believe them, the first time." — Maya Angelou with Oprah in 1997
When people say disparaging things about themselves, goodhearted people want to believe they can't possibly mean it, that we can see some inborn light to them that they cannot.
We may call it kindness, but it's hubris. It's control. And it ends with heart-wrenching consequences.
It's dawned on me how often people have told me they identify with villains or outlaws, often out of some twisted, unresolved shame I would later come to discover.
But for all my empathy, the end result was the same. They ended up being every bit the villain they said they were.
Kindness is good, and necessary, but if we don't reserve enough for ourselves, to accept things as they are over crafting delusions of how they might be, it is easy to fall into a world of hurt of our own design.
Save some kindness for you, and know that "no" is sometimes the kindest thing you can do. For both of you.
Originating Tweet: https://twitter.com/asiahoe/status/1353561422844850177?s=20