*This is version 2.0, one that I like to think will not cease to evolve, be prescient, or lose it's place in my life, my place in other's lives, and the lives of complete strangers who I impact, and am impacted by, day by day. ? ?
After a hectic, fulfilling, yet draining 2018, I have some thoughts on my self (the Anton show), my friends, family, colleagues both current and former, lovers and haters, and the rest.
From leaving a job I plateaued at after nearly 4 years, to one that was over my head, to find myself in one that fits better to the organized chaos that ebbs and flows within me.
To appointments, meetings, birthdays, dates, and get-togethers skipped, missed, and forgotten. To late mornings, afternoons, and evenings. To disappointed people, left and right, past and present.
I've spent so much of my life, running from facing reality, responsibility, intimacy, and culpability. Coping, neglecting, escaping, and pivoting in such an agile, yet clumsy manner. It's time for evolution, growth, and accepting what I can and cannot do.
It's time to leave my more reactive nature and tendencies behind me, and turn to a more proactive, engaged, and bright-eyed self. If I reach out, it won't be just because I need something, but because I want to reach out. If I come early to a meeting or the office, it's because I want to be prepared, for myself, colleagues, and the task(s) at hand. If I come to see you, whether, friend, family, acquaintance or anything in between, it will be because I want to, not because I have to.
Most of all, I won't take every moment, opportunity, and possibility, to escape facing who I am, what I do, those that care about me, and who I care about dearly.